I have a friend in Hamka University whose name is Hesti Triani Rojali. I usually call her Echi. I met her at the first semester, but in the class I rare to play with her although I ever work in pair or group with her, but it is not make me close with her :D. As far as I know, she is good, clever, humble, cheerful kind, so she has many friends and most of them are boys. She usually goes to campus by bus but sometimes she goes to campus by motorcycle because she wants to arrive at campus early. About her dream, she wants to be a great English teacher who loves many children and many people. I am really glad to hear it. To reach her dreams she never leaves the process of study; consequently, I believe she can reach her dream well. I think enough to tell the short story about my classmate, and I hope our relationship run well till the end.
_________ : topic sentence
a friend : topic
Hesti Triani Ro : controlling idea
I hope our relationship rund : concluding sentence:
I hope our relationship rund : concluding sentence:
4 komentar:
That's so beautiful writing!
Nana, I think, in the sentence: '...I rare to play...' has an error.
Because the word 'rare' as an adjective, it should be with 'to be (am)', or you can change the word rare into an adverb (rarely), so it's become: 'I rarely play'
Thanks 4 your comment bil. Next time I'll try to be better than now :*
I do agree with Nabil, Na. Rare become rarely. as I told you last friday right? :)
Ya, it's definitely true. Good point galz. Ratna, it's nice u obviously state ur topic sentence and concluding sentence so, the reader can easily guess what's in ur writing. However, it seems u a still a bit careless in coping with the use of conjunction, parallel sentence, grammar and diction (the choice of words). U also still have to make an effort to make each sentence connected (coherence), so ur writing will look nicely. Good effort then, and try better next time.
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